"We're friends right?"
"Why don't you ever talk?"
Or assume things about your personality. Calling you 'innocent' and infantilizing you like you grew up on a different planet where there's always sunshine and rainbows. They act like they know everything about you even if you've never had a conversation with them. They make decisions and speak for you, answer questions that were directed at you like you're some kind of mute. So you end up becoming one.
Your silence is not a crime or a reason for anybody to treat you unfairly. Someone once said that loud people project their insecurities onto quiet people.
"Oh she's rude."
"He's weird."
You go through life feeling like it's a requirement to get along with everybody even though that's not even realistic. When you're loud, people look at you and use your personality to decide if they want to be your friend. But when you're quiet, you're a blank canvas, they look at you like a project, like something to acquire and make their own. You're just an accessory.
Nobody cares to ask about your interests, your likes and dislikes, then when you mention a hobby of yours they act like you've said something that's out of this world. Like you're a 'personalitiless' bland slab of meat that walks around aimlessly. It's like you're not perceived as a person.
How do you fly a plane if the instruction manual is in Chinese?( assuming you don't speak the language...) Well, you could try using the pictures as clues but it's not a children's novel so you're not getting very far. So is the situation entirely hopeless, should you just give up?
Well no. For a start, you have the manual, all you need is to learn Chinese! Not an easy task I know but the point I'm trying to make is you can learn to speak their language. You don't have to be fluent, you just have to know enough to get the plane in the air--to achieve the goal you want to achieve, to get by.
You can pick up on a few mannerisms for when you meet new people, or for how to ask for things and most importantly, how to stand up for yourself. The only way you'll get good at these things is by doing them. It's going to suck for a while but do them whenever you can, even if they feel unnatural or like you're acting. It will only get less scarier if you show yourself it's not that hard. Practice, practice, and practice some more until you're fluent. If you're tired, take a break and pick it up tomorrow.
Grammar, vocabulary, and tenses create a blend of speech that allows us all to relate to each other.
But you don't learn it all in one day. Slowly you'll begin to accumulate a repertoire of these skills and find your place in the sea of chaos we call society. Chin up.
